i didn’t do my homework…

writing

Outside my window an ocean of white, I breathe in and it calms my mind.  The scene changes as a blur of hot pink enters the scene.  A snow tube in hand she squats at the top of the hill but doesn’t move forward in the snow; stuck in a sea of fluffiness.  Using her feet and hands she makes her way down.  She climbs up tries again, energized that it is easier the second time.  The snow is getting packed into a trail that makes it easier.  A taller figure emerges from inside the house.  Mama’s weight creates a path that is slick.  It is all happening because of practice.

Today I go to my piano lesson.  It upsets me.  I haven’t given my best this week.  I haven’t practiced since the last lesson over a week ago.

I let it go, didn’t climb the hill.

I forgot my goal of getting better so that I can sing and worship while playing the piano.  Today I tried to make up for the missing days; I tried to cram, like I used to during finals week as a teenager.  It never worked for me.

Frustration.  Angst.  Worry.

I am letting my teacher down.  I let myself down.

I begin to excuse myself because after all,  this month I am  almost working full-time again.  I am good at rationalizing.  I lie.  I know the value of practicing to improve.

In a few more hours I will ‘face the music’ and play for my teacher.  In a few minutes I will work at my new song, line by line, patiently practicing for something that looks a little closer to flying down a slick snow hill.

This is what God says about practice:

Philippians 4:9

Likewise, keep practicing these things: what you have learned, received, heard, and seen in me. Then the God of peace will be with you.

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9 thoughts on “i didn’t do my homework…

  1. Ugh! I can feel your frustration. It’s so hard to find the time to practice anything, and when you can’t, the guilt sets in! How long have you been playing piano? I’ve been a beginner for years – because I can’t find the time to practice! Hope you settle into a groove that fits in a little time at the piano

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  2. How many of us have been there and done the same thing? It is so easy to make excuses and put thing off only to be faced with a day of reckoning. However, things always seem to work out somehow.

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  3. First step is figuring out what you need to do, I think you’ve done that. Sometimes it just takes a little longer to get to that place. You will master the piano because you have passion for doing this. Enjoy your time in Ecuador!

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  4. Beautiful connections to that sledding. I love “a little closer to flying down a slick snow hill.” Sometimes we need to forgive ourselves, and then take the next step, which you did. It’s wonderful you’re taking lessons!

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